Man, I am so lazy about actually making rec posts. These have been building up for quite a while, so strap in:

Nine from [ profile] hoggywartyxmas:


Bibliomancy (Or, Five Additions of Note to the Hogwarts Restricted Section) by [ profile] atdelphi
Pairing/Characters: Irma Pince, Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black, Severus Snape
Rating: General
Words: 1000

Author's summary: A series of double drabbles following our favourite Hogwarts professors’ and alumni’s additions to the Restricted Section shelves.
Author's warnings: Contains gothic romance novels of dubious quality.

My comment: "*squeals and flails* As a library worker myself, this quite hit my sweet spot. And I now find myself interested in the possible wizarding classification system..."

As for the Blutwulf Grimoire, which had finally surfaced at auction in Boston—well, that had taken a certain amount of coaxing before it stopped radiating malevolent miasma and dripping blood on every surface. When it had, however, Albus was pleased to add it to the Restricted Section, along with the Christmas annual of Donald Duck.


The Spoof is in the Pudding by [ profile] delphipsmith
Pairing/Characters: Flitwick, Pomona, Minerva, Severus, Albus, Muriel Prewitt (by mention)
Rating: G
Words: 1528

Author's summary: Hagrid's contribution to the holiday feast doesn't quite go as expected
Author's warnings: Gratuitous misuse of meter?

My comment: "This is just faboo. A Yule classic for sure! ...and now I kind of want to make a fruitcake..." I should also note that, contrary to the warning, meter is not misused in this poem; in fact it's quite well used.

"Here, my dear, this is yours, I shall give you the edge
where it's crispy and chewy, the very best taste."
"I hope it's not heavy." She patted her waist.
"Fruitcake has so often an unpleasant weight.
One feels that one's eaten not cake, but the plate."


Above, Beneath, Betwixt, Between by [ profile] therealsnape
Pairing/Characters: Professor Cuthbert Binns, with walk-ons from various Hogwarts staff, such as Minerva McGonagall, Filius Flitwick, Albus Dumbledore, and a great many others.
Rating: mild R
Words: 12,500

Author's summary: You’ve been fed all kinds of stories for years. Now here are some facts, and I think you’ll find them quite revealing.
Author's warnings: None

Cuthbert spent the next few hours in his chair, pondering this new situation and getting used to the idea. Then the bell rang for the first lesson of the day, and he got up and went to his classroom, for he was a thoughtful, conscientious man who felt that dying was no excuse for missing a class.


Nine Lessons and Carols by [personal profile] dueltastic
Pairing/Characters: Filius Flitwick et al
Rating: PG-13
Words: 7000

Author's summary: Happy Christmas from 1989.
Author's warnings: None

My comment: "I want to add all these carols into my songbook. (I hope some of them match existing tunes, as I certainly haven't the skill to compose any!) And I fair teared up when Severus gifted Filius one of the missing volumes in his copy of the Cornucopia."

God rest ye merry, hippogriffs
Now come and eat some hay
You're very welcome on our roof
Upon this Christmas day
Espesh'lly if you'd be so kind
To pull our flying sleigh


The Gift by [ profile] lash_larue
Pairing/Characters: Trelawney/McGonagall, kind of.
Rating: PG-13
Words: 6700

Author's summary: The staff New Year's eve gathering reveals just why Trelawney keeps to herself most of the time, and what it is that her inner eye shows her.
Author's warnings: Heavy drinking

My comment: "You could easily have stopped there, but I'm glad you didn't. I rather like the particulars of the nature of Sybill's "gift" that you've cooked up here to explain her reclusiveness -- very creative idea -- and thus the method of its relief (temporary though it might be) in the Room of Requirement."

"No. I see you as you will appear just after your deaths, just after the life has fled your eyes and body. I saw Dumbledore lying broken on the ground, and I see you all as you will be. I can hear you, but I cannot feel the warmth in your touch, I cannot see the life in your eyes, not without the help of my friend in the bottle. It took me years to learn how much is enough. One would suppose that after all these years I would have become accustomed to conversing with corpses, but no."


Two art recs from [ profile] severus_snape fest:

Hitting the Mark by [ profile] cabepfir
Pairing/Characters: Severus, Eileen
Rating: Work safe [G]

Author's summary: Eileen discovers about her son’s new association, c. 1977.
Author's warnings: None

My comment: "Great design for Eileen. She's none too pleased, I can tell! You've done very well with Severus, too."


Last Year by [ profile] bvizen
Pairing/Characters: Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape
Rating: G

Author's summary: Their last year.
Author's warnings: None

My comment: "Well well, look who showed up in this fest :) I continue to be impressed by how you keep refining your design for Severus."


Six from Yuletide/Yuletide Madness:

Title by [ profile] missy
Fandom: The Addams Family
Pairing/Characters: Gomez/Morticia
Rating: General
Words: 790

Author's summary: It's their anniversary, the children are off thriving in the world, and she's never looked lovelier.
Author's warnings: None

My comment: "Oh, this was lovely! Perfectly captures their spirit."

“It’s been forty years and you’re still stunning.” Taking a deep drought from his glass of wine, Gomez Addams took his wife’s pale, smooth hand in his grip and kissed it passionately. “How do you do it, beloved?”

“Oh, the typical treatments any girl uses. Mud masks, blood baths…sipping the souls of my tormented rivals.”


LOLcat Got the Blue Canary by [ profile] isis
Fandom: Birdhouse in Your Soul - They Might Be Giants (Song), LOLcats [ya, rly]
Rating: General
Words: 100

Author's summary: I'm in ur outlet by teh lite switch, watching over yu liek Ceiling Cat.
Author's warnings: Chose not to use archive warnings [but this is safe]

My comment: "LOL! (And why am I not surprised [personal profile] elf was involved in this somehow, hehe.)"

Simpul message iz simpul. No can haz whistles! No can haz bells!


Anywhere by [ profile] kol
Fandom: 88 Lines About 44 Women - The Nails (Song)
Pairing/Characters: Reno, Seattle - Character, Mary Ellen, Narrator
Rating: Teen
Words: 1169

Author's summary: Reno's heading anywhere. He's happy to oblige.
Author's warnings: None [additional tags include Implied Sexual Content]

My comment: "Wow, neat creative way to interpret the song."

"I don't understand," Reno said, still confused.

"You're not the first of his girls to end up on my doorstop," Mary Ellen said. "Now, come in and have some grilled cheese. Seattle should be just about done with the lemonade."

"Seattle?" Reno asked.

"His last trip. What's your name, honey?"


The Ancient and Fraternal Order of Mystery Archetypes by [ profile] jenett
Fandom: PBS Mystery! Opening Credits - Edward Gorey [again, ya rly. some odd ones in Yuletide!]
Pairing/Characters: Mysterious Young Widow
Rating: General
Words: 1626

Author's summary: If you read a lot of mysteries, you might think you know how this story goes. But do you?
Author's warnings: Chose not to use archive warnings [I would say canon-typical violence is likely]

Being an archetype is hard work. It is confining work, to live one's life within the bounds of what is expected for one's type, one's place, one's role. Detectives do this, sergeants are like that. Little old ladies who solve mysteries must not be seen to care about the fashions of the year, charming aristocrats may not express their passion for the plebian pursuits of amusement parks. Glamorous women of the world must not be seen at home in comfortable grubby clothes, reading a favourite children's novel. And let's not get into the expectations of villains.


Games Day by [ profile] daegaer
Fandom: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Pairing/Characters: Arthur Dent/Ford Prefect, Zaphod Beeblebrox
Rating: Teen
Words: 3131

Author's summary: Ford and Arthur are in danger of seeing a sporting event from far too close up.
Author's warnings: None

The gladiatorial Games of New Trafford VI are, that wholly remarkable book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy assures the reader, a must-see event for the discerning traveller. They are, in fact, likely to be unavoidable, for the natives of New Trafford VI somewhat belatedly came to the conclusion that their addiction to the Games was detrimental for the population of the planet as a whole, given that every possible crime, misdemeanor, littering offence and minor social faux pas had become punishable by being condemned to the arena.


and all ye need to know by [ profile] shinealightonme
Fandom: The Last Unicorn
Pairing/Characters: Molly Grue, Unicorn | Lady Amalthea, Schmendrick
Rating: General
Words: 1962

Author's summary: "Men have written poetry about me before," the Lady Amalthea said. "But none of them have ever given me the poem after they've finished it."
Author's warnings: None

My comment: "Oh, oh. I am also wiping tears from my face. How dare you come to me now, when I am this! ... seriously though. Wow."

"You see a unicorn," she said, "And not a lady. That is what I am, truly. The lady was the illusion."

"No," Molly Grue said. "The lady lived, and loved, and died. She may be gone now, but that makes her no less real. All things are real that can die."


And lastly, two miscellaneous:

The Policeman's Ball by [ profile] copperbadge
Fandom: Discworld
Pairing/Characters: Samuel Vimes, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Nobby Nobbs, Fred Colon, Sybil Ramkin
Rating: Teen
Words: 9483

Author's summary: Someone is after Captain Carrot, but it's hard to investigate a crime in the middle of a party.
Author's warnings: None

My comment: "This was hilarious. You have quite a knack for writing things that could fit right into the canon."

It wasn't that Vimes was against community outreach, theoretically, but this was Ankh-Morpork. It was not a town where happy street fairs thrived. He liked the city, in the way coppers have, but when it came to actual people Vimes was a misomnithrope; he didn't like anyone, regardless of species or gender.


I Wish the Goblins Would Come and Take Professor Snape Away, Right Now by [ profile] unknown_kadath
Fandom: Labyrinth xover with Harry Potter
Pairing/Characters: Severus Snape, Jareth, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Ron Weasley, Hoggle
Rating: General
Words: 3838

Author's summary: Pretty much what it says on the tin. With a Monty Python reference thrown in.
Author's warnings: None

My comment: "Funny and really rather charming!"

“And you believe I can be so easily imprisoned that I must rely on students for my freedom?” he asked. “I doubt you have much experience imprisoning wizards. If you normally restrict yourself to infants …”

“True,” said Jareth, scowling in irritation. “You are rather old to be turned into a Goblin. Although I may make the effort anyway—it can only improve your appearance.”


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